First Howl Of A Half-Breed

All seems hopeless.

He is standing in front of me,

watching,

waiting.

He's expecting something.

I turn my head away,

reject his unspoken request.

His eyes narrow expectantly.

I close my eyes,

listen to his footsteps

as he leaves.

I can feel him turning back,

one last time,

watching,

waiting.

I turn my head back,

just for a moment.

There are others around;

black wolves with golden eyes,

they are the color of the darkest night.

They howl,

their songs echo unendingly.

I wince when I hear them;

memories of vicious taunts,

of personal attacks flood my mind until all other thoughts have vanished.

"Wolf!" they would shout,

and they would laugh.

Dozens of them would shout at a time.

They knew before I did

and they punished me for it.

Wolf.

That was the last thing I wanted to hear.

The last thing I wanted to be reminded of.

I open my eyes and watch as, one by one,

the wolves begin to disappear.

I am back in the narrow tunnel,

below the trapdoor that took me here.

I can't breathe;

there is no air here,

this far into the abandoned temple.

"Howl!" my guardian shouts,

"accept yourself for what you are,

before you ask the acceptance of others!"

He had read my mind.

He knew what I was afraid of.

I struggle and raise my head.

I try to make a sound,

but it comes out as a dry whimper.

I try again;

there is even less sound this time.

Gathering any strength I might have had left,

feeling the ever familiar warmth of my guardian's presence,

I lift my head again.

The howl is a song of power,

of rebirth.

The gods can hear the howl;

I know that they are watching,

listening.

I howl again,

my howl is joined by another.

I don't recognize the voice of this howl,

but it is pleasant, soothing.

A light breaks through the roof;

the trapdoor has been lifted.

Several pairs of hands pull me up, out of it.

I breathe fresh air.

I pant as I am embraced by all of them,

and try to break free.

I look back to the entrance of the trapdoor,

thanking my guardian for his help.